Dogs Don't Eat Pizza

NOTE: This post has been updated – you have to read to the end to see the big surprise!

So, a funny thing happened today when I went thrift shopping on my lunch break.

I have found all kinds of odd things at thrift stores, but this was in a category all its own.

A bag of Foxworthys (or is it “Foxworthies”?).

Some of you may have seen my Instagram picture (follow me on Instagram here):

A whole bag of Jeff Foxworthy dolls (and one Larry the Cable Guy, who I thought was Burt Reynolds), for only $3.99! Seriously, what a bargain!

I thought about it. I wondered. I left it on the display and found other goodies. I came back and the bag of Foxworthies was still there! Imagine! In Georgia, no less.

I texted the photos to my friend Cynthia, who immediately sent me a challenge:

She threw down the gauntlet and I accepted the challenge. I immediately pictured what I was going to make. It turned out just how I envisioned, too. I present to you:

The “You Might Be a Redneck” Wreath!

It goes perfectly with our Alabama football sign!

Perfect for fall decorating!

I know you all are wondering how I made such a GORGEOUS wreath, right?? Well, I’m going to tell you.

Now, “you might be a redneck if” you bought a whole bag of Foxworthies plus one Larry the Cable Guy, and then emptied them out on your counter, much to the shock and dismay of your children (or “kin,” if you are a redneck).

There were eight Jeffs and one Larry. I still think he looks like Burt Reynolds. Anyway…

“You might be a redneck if” you then found a wreath form in the closet and began wrapping it in a red bandanna (both the form and the bandanna came from the Dollar Store, FYI).

 And “you might be a redneck if” you secured the bandanna around the wreath form with a staple gun.  Wrap the bandanna all the way around the wreath form. It only took one bandanna, but it was a bit thin at the end. Two would work better.

And if you then glued the Jeff Foxworthies to the wreath, using Fabri-Tac fabric glue, you, yourself, “might be a redneck.”

I glued their hands together, so that it looks like a giant show of redneck solidarity (or they could be singing “Give Peace a Chance.”  Either way).

I then took part of an old belt and looped it around the form to make a strap to hang the wreath.

Challenge complete. How’d I do?

UPDATE: So, here’s the best part! I actually met Jeff Foxworthy and told him about this wreath!

We were on the same flight from Salt Lake City to Atlanta, and the flight was delayed. I knew that an opportunity like this would only come around once in a lifetime and I HAD to show him the wreath!

I showed him this post and he LOVED the wreath! He said it was funny – which is good – that was the spirit in which it was intended!

He is the nicest guy, y’all. Seriously. He could not have been more gracious with both me and other fans who wanted selfies, and he was lovely to talk to.  And he loved the wreath! That was the best!